Critical Response to Mike Ettel's It's a Livin' Thing

Danielle Orner
Student Critical Response # 2
4/24/07
Critical Response to Michael Ettel’s It’s A Livin’ Thing
Although Ettel has an interesting premise for his story, it lacks the necessary build-up for its sensational, murderous ending. The turn of events when the reader discovers Eli has been “fucking dead people” feels forced and unnatural because there is no character basis for the way Eli acts. He doesn’t seem to be psychologically unbalanced until that moment. The foreshadowing of Libbey talking about the death of Jenny and the detail of Eli working in cemeteries are both good but they are not enough to make the ending fit. While it is good to surprise readers, a writer needs to have enough character support and eerie hints for the reader to recollect in order to make the surprise thrilling rather than out-of-the-blue. The readers need a motivation for Eli, even if that motivation is his complete insanity.
Ettel can give the plot twists more depth by elaborating on some scenes and by altering the tone of the story to match the idea that freakish perversions are lurking just below the facades of normal relationships. For example, the reader could discover Libbey’s sexually transmitted disease with her before the argument. This gives the reader the feeling that something disgusting is happening and it heightens the tension. During the scene in the cemetery, the reader could get a quick glimpse into Eli’s mind. Maybe he loves the smell of the dirt and rubs some on his face. Also, Ettel seems to suggest that Eli doesn’t know what he is doing because Jenny seems alive to him. This issue can make Eli a much more complex character if he occasional notices something wrong with Jenny. In other words, Eli can swing in and out of insanity to create tension and give the reader hints that something is happening beyond the ordinary love triangle. Perhaps Jenny can have odd behaviors that worry Eli such as staring vacantly or smelling bad. His fantasies can be strong but not so strong that he doesn’t have any idea that something is wrong. If Libbey’s discovery happens simultaneously with Eli’s, the story will be even more disturbing for the reader. Also, the division of the parts doesn’t enhance or move the story along. The titles would have to be more interesting for Ettel to keep them.
Although Ettel is going for a kind of light horror story, without the changes recommended, it just leaves the reader feeling cheated because there is no background or build up for the events. The reader needs to feel as if they are in the loop but that they didn’t put the clues together fast enough to reach the ending before the characters do. Right now, the characters feel flat and the ending feels contrived. With the some adjustments, Ettel could have a haunting story about the perversions of love and the creep message that we may not know anything about our lovers.