Critical Response to Ted Basfield's A Gunshot Starts the Race

Danielle Orner
Student Critical Response # 3
4/24/07
Critical Response to Ted Brasfield’s A Gunshot Starts the Race
In his story about a white rich girl desiring a poor black man, Ted writes beautiful descriptions of place and begins to build complex characters with mixed motives. Lila is not the typical star-crossed lover thwarted by her family and society because she is powerful, manipulating, and racist. The sex scene is filled with multiple emotions and is overlaid with social commentary. Yet, Ted’s story seems more like the beginning of something bigger rather than a complete short story. There are so many conflicts that are hinted at but not explained. There could be so much added to make the story even fuller.
As a character, Teddy seems too passive and he easily gives into his role of assassin. I want to know more about Ted’s plans for himself. Does he love Serena or another woman who isn’t using him? Does he actually love Lila or is he just infatuated? Did he ever notice her before that morning? Does he have doubts about what he is about to do? He becomes a killed too quickly without enough motivation. What are his other characteristics? Is he violent by nature or gentle and horrified by the notion of murdering even a bad man? There can be more character back story.
Also, Lila and Ted’s sex scene seems a bit abrupt and rushed for their first encounter. The story would have much more tension if there was a period of flirting or playing with the idea of the big taboo and murder they are about to perform together. Dialogue between the characters could make the encounter more real and introduce more emotions into their act. Insight into Lila’s decision to take these two massive steps could also be interesting.
Also, the reader barely meets Noah Butler around whose murder the story revolves. Brasfield can show more about who Butler is rather than telling the reader. Is Butler really all bad or do people misunderstand him? Is Lila more of the criminal? Brasfield has a wonderful beginning but the story can still be fleshed out.