Criticial Response: A Needed Vacation (Author Unknown)

Danielle Orner
Student Critical Response # 4
4/29/07
A Needed Vacation Author Unknown (No Name)
I really enjoyed how this story was divided into days and how it followed the experiences of a teenage boy who chose to go off his medicine for a week. The fact that he is hitch-hiking with a different driver on each day adds to the affect of the story. Each set of characters and each new setting out the window allows the story to give the reader tiny glimpses into a variety lives. The characters and their cars are each described well and the action varies depending on the car Trent is riding in. Despite the interesting concept and the compelling structure of the story, I have two critiques.
The first is that the dialogue in the beginning of the story is much too explanatory and forthright to illicit any emotional response from the reader or to create any realistic tension between the characters. People, who are arguing about something important and personal, usually don’t explain their positions well because they are trying to protect themselves and may have a hard time expressing how they really feel. Dr. Jackson, Trent’s mother, and Trent are all too clear in their expressions to be believable as people fighting over a tense issue. Their conversation styles need to vary because now they all sound generally the same. They need different argument tactics to demonstrate their different personalities.
The second is that Trent needs to go through more of a change. The journey and his decision to go of meds for the first time in his life seem to leave him relatively untouched. Both hitch-hiking and quitting meds can be dangerous activities but the story ends up being mild with no close calls or plot twists. I would like to see more happen to Trent as he takes his life into his own hands. The author should keep the structure and premise of the story but flesh it out some more. And, of course, put his or her name on his or her story.