Critical Response to Alison Billroth-Maclurg's "The Loch"

Alison Billroth-Maclurg’s “The Loch” does a terrific job of establishing character and setting. These two aspects in particular are the strongest parts of this short story. Within the first paragraph, I immediately understood what sort of a person the story’s narrator is. And although there are no indicators other than the language spoken and the fact that the narrator drinks from his “trusty pocket flask,” I still was able to determine his gender and his general age.
I can tell that a good amount of research has gone into creating this work. The use of the specific names of places like “the waters of Glencoe” or “the shores of Iverness” lend the work a degree of realism which makes it all the more engaging to read. Because I don’t doubt the authenticity of the setting, I feel more willing to invest myself emotionally in the narrator’s account of his life.
The descriptions also are very strong throughout. Lines such as “a face dancing with freckles” and “splintered pieces of ‘Love,’ blue and white on oak on my doorstep” are particularly beautiful. They are a pleasure to read and put just the perfect image in your head. But there are other cases where the imagery seems to clash with the tone of the story. For instance, the comparison of Finnegan’s face to the elasticity of chewing gum stands out in an awkward way. The son’s use of the word “shitty” also seems out of place in this tale. Everything else about the story is so quaint and melancholic that the crudeness of the word seems to belong to another time and another place.
I do enjoy the way the narrator’s relationship with his son is portrayed in the story. There are some very nice moments in there, like their brief conversation about God. I suppose I would like to know a bit more about the son though. We get some strong physical descriptions of him, but we don’t really get to know him as a person very well. We know that he is stubborn and resolute in his decisions, but I think we need a better sense of what makes him tick. What sort of a life does he have outside of his relationship with his father? I understand that this is all told from the father’s point of view, but still there can be more revealed about the son’s personality.
The narrator’s fascination with Nessi is executed quite nicely on the page. The bond he feels between himself and this mythological creature works well on both a thematic level and an actual level. I particularly like the story’s conclusion, but I would, however, leave out the line referring to the narrator’s lack of surprise that he is able to breathe underwater. It removes the reader too much from the fantasy of the moment. What’s important is not the physiological possibility of an old man descending into the ocean, but the therapeutic relief he feels from the burdens of life. I prefer not really knowing whether or not this is actually happening.