Critical Response to Alyssa Duran's "The Nose"

Alyssa Duran’s “The Nose” is the story of a man whose obsessions threaten the stability of his marriage. But while Benjamin’s obsession with his motorcycle leads to a rift opening between himself and his wife, his obsession over the appearance of his nose ultimately brings the two closer together. The concept is certainly intriguing, but there are places where the story appears to contradict itself––and there are also places where this mildly outrageous tale seems to warrant being pushed to even farther extremes.
I’ll start by addressing the contradictions I saw in the character of Benjamin Wendell. When we first meet him, Benjamin is a reckless, egotistical, womanizing greaser. But by the second paragraph, and only three years after his introduction, Benjamin is married, working as a cashier and living just down the road from his parents. Based on the opening paragraph, Benjamin doesn’t seem like the type to settle down soon after high school. Nor does he seem like the type to want to stay close to home. I imagine him setting off across the country on his motorcycle, seeking thrills and adventure wherever he can. I’m curious as to what sparks such a change in his character. He still retains his vanity, as demonstrated by his obsession with his nose later on, but all of his other traits seem to have disappeared. Perhaps his relationship with Cheryl Dawson has tamed him considerably, but if so we need to understand how.
Before I move on to places where I think the story could be expanded, I should note that I also found the dialogue of the doctors to be uncharacteristic of the way doctors would speak. For instance, the part where Dr. Smithson says, “A nose that would require us to, well, the details are fairly disgusting to hear, especially when you’re thinking about getting it done.” This isn’t something the doctor should say––especially if he wishes to remain professional and especially if he is trying to sell the plastic surgery to these people.
That being said, I did find some of the bickering dialogue between Benjamin and Cheryl to be absolutely hilarious. The jabs they take at each other are truly witty and help lend the story a darkly humorous touch. Favorite lines of mine include, “Sure. It’s dumb enough to sound like you made it up,” and “You’re not much of an evening person either.”
While I appreciate the irony of Benjamin breaking his nose unintentionally while doing actual house work, I think that a story with a premise as absurd as this one warrants a more absurd conclusion. I find the “happy” ending to be a bit forced––almost as though it simply appears there without being validated by the events which precede it. I have a few suggestions for how the story might be made more absurd. Firstly, I would love to have seen Benjamin actually trying (unsuccessfully) a number of different methods for breaking his nose, rather than just thinking of them. The movie Groundhog Day springs to mind: the part where Bill Murray’s character is attempting to permanently kill himself in various amusing ways. Perhaps Benjamin tries everything in the book to break his nose, and endures much pain along the way, but is unable to succeed in his task. The methods he employs could become increasingly more absurd, thus adding to the humor of the piece. Another turn the story could take would be for Benjamin and Cheryl to actually drive down to Mexico in search of some cheap rhinoplasty. That would open up a whole slew of new possibilities for crazy things to happen to them. Maybe they get mugged down there and they go through a terrible ordeal, and by working through their problems together, they are finally able to earn their “happily ever after.”