Critical Response to Casey Black’s “A Needed Vacation”

One of my favorite things to read about is travel, and reading this story I enjoyed the journey that I was taken on. The details of the setting as it changes from scene to scene pull me in just enough and set the tone and mood for each scene respectively. The descriptions are just enough to do that but not overpower or take away from the meaning of the whole piece, which I perceived to be self discovery and actualization. I also like the characters you chose to have your narrator interact with. The broad range of people lets the reader see how the narrator thinks and reacts – lets us know what kind of person he is.
Now, that being said, there is a bunch that you could do to make the story even better. Just a nit-picky thing is indenting your dialogue because the first read through I found it hard to follow. But anyway, one of the main things I think you could really play up in the story is the thoughts of the narrator. It took me a few reads through to see that the point of the story was to show the narrator’s road to self actualization and definition. Possibly use the other characters in the story to represent things the narrator has problems with, whether in the world, in people, or with himself. There needs to be more conflict, is what I’m getting at. There’s a part in the section marked “Tuesday (the 20th)” where the character of Sara is introduced, but she is never mentioned again though the subject of her would seem to prove a point of conflict within the narrator. It could be another avenue which you could take the story by emphasizing his past struggles with his ex to represent the struggles he’s going through with himself.
Though I may be saying a lot about what’s missing in the story, what’s missing seems to work in some places, it lets me make up my own connections between events and between thoughts. Just keep an eye on them, though, because in the “Wednesday (the 21st)” section there’s too much emphasis on the setting and not on how the narrator’s mind is affected both my his withdrawl from his medication and the THC in his bloodstream. And one more nit-picky thing was that you mentioned a guacamole burger that the narrator ate at a gas station diner in a hick town. As far as I can tell, hicks don’t really eat avacados and less so in a place that’s as far north that it’s nearly in Montana; I just didn’t really buy it that he could get something like that in a place like that. I really do like the points you make throughout it, though. The experience of dealing with depression and trying to “find yourself” is always an interesting angle to play up, and the points are good and specific to the character of the narrator. The only thing I would make sure to include in another draft would be a clearer intent in the story. Really, though, the choices are up to you and I hope that you’ll take what I’ve said here with a grain of salt, but at least with some regard. Good luck.