How to Solve Your Child's ADHD Behavior

It is important to first confirm that your child actually suffers from ADHD. Before assuming that your son's constant knee shaking and inappropriate interruptions are a sign of Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, you should get a professional opinion.
After setting up a 4:00 PM appointment on a Wednesday afternoon with a local child psychiatrist, escort your squirming son to the backseat of your family's red Volvo station wagon. To avoid the aggravation that comes with listening to twenty five minutes of constant chatter as you weave in and out of afternoon traffic, be sure to turn the radio up load enough to drown out any noise from the back seat. Since the child will have just been released from a long day of Elementary School, it is likely that his stomach will be rumbling with hunger. A stop at the drive-through of a fast food joint is a smart solution to this dilemma and will likely put the child in a better mood for his appointment.
When entering the office building in which your doctor of choice is located, be sure to cover you hands with your shirt as you touch the door handle. It is a known fact that the majority incidents involving static electricity take place in psychiatrist offices, and it is best to avoid any chance of being stung. As you guide your son down down the carpeted hallways of the building, keep a hand on him to prevent him from doing anything unpredictable such as banging his right hand against the office door labeled as "Law Office of Sam Redding". If the psychiatrist awaiting you seems rather shady, with his greased back hair and cabinet full of prescription medication samples, ignore your doubts. The doctor in front of you has years of schooling behind him and is completely knowledgeable on what is good for your child. The large sums of money he is being paid for giving his unbiased opinion is completely uninfluenced by any outside factors such as payoffs from pharmaceutical corporations.
As you recline on the leather couch placed in the waiting room for your relaxation, be sure to sift through the numerous magazines resting on the table to your right. These reading supplements have been generously paid for by the doctor in the hope that they will distract your mind from the conversation taking place in the adjacent room. It is only hospitable to indulge yourself in the gossip of Hollywood starlets and pointless, badly written columns talking about the shows that will be making their television debut in the upcoming weeks. If you find your heart beating faster than normal, your feet unable to remain still, your mind clouded with uncertainty over whether bringing your child to this particular office was the proper parenting decision, I would recommend zoning out to the soothing elevator music emitting from the cheap stereo system that the psychiatrist has tactfully added to his waiting room.
When an hour has passed and your child bounces into the waiting room you are patiently sitting in, the psychiatrist will finally be informed enough to diagnose the ailment that your child is so obviously suffering from. He will likely pull you into the office your son has recently exited from and tell your fidgeting child to take a seat in the waiting room for a moment. When you are alone with him, he will look at you directly in the eyes while caressing the facial hair covering his chin.
"I'm sorry to say", he will begin, "that your child obviously suffers from Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder." No doubt, you will be rather concerned by such a diagnoses. Your eyes will probably grow slightly larger, and if you are like me when I am nervous, you will likely drag your tongue over your lips several times before asking:
"What exactly does that mean?"
"ADHD is a neurological disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness and hyperactivity as well as the inability to stay focused on the task at hand. In the case of your son, his symptoms can be seen in his tendency to get easily distracted, his forgetfulness in daily activities, his inability to remain calm or stay seated in class, and his excessive talking."
"But what does that imply?" you'll probably find yourself wondering after being told the devastating news of your son's disorder.
"In other words, if you don't take care of your son's ailment at a young age, he will likely wind up alienating his peers, flunking out of school, and joining gangs or winding up in prison" the psychiatrist will elaborate.
This harsh warning will send a shiver down your spine as your mind calculates exactly what the doctor's words imply.
"What can I do to help my child?" you will ask the doctor. Your question will be exactly what the psychiatrist has been waiting for. He will immediately rise from his bright red chair and calmly move towards the cabinet in the back right corner of the room. Carefully removing several small boxes from the cabinet, he will begin enlightening you on the possible solutions to your child's disorder. The solutions are basically all one and the same: a daily dose of pills to numb your kids problematic behavior into non-existence. Being that you consider yourself a caring parent who will do anything for the well being of your beloved son, you will follow the doctor's advice and agree to the recommended prescription of Wellbutrin and Ritalin.
As the years go by, you will watch with sadness as your child suffers from numerous side effects created by the unnatural drugs contaminating your child's body. You will turn a blind eye to your son's drastic and constant weight fluctuations, to his stomach problems, to his inability to stay awake in class. You will spend thousands of dollars on medication for your son's disorder while allowing yourself to remain convinced that you are making the best possible decision. After all, the aim of your intentions is what matters.