Steady Burn

The alarm clock ripped into my lunch date with Tracy Chapman, warping her smooth voice and sending globs of catsup everywhere. The wicker chairs that supported our weight gave way, and when I opened my eyes, Matthew's right hand was on my thigh, and I felt him sigh his dreams away.
In the shower we coated our bodies in soap and clutched on to each other, sliding our skin together to make little bubbles and fond morning memories. We made noises to each other about coffee and pillows. I stripped the die from my eyelashes with my fingers, the mid-slumber sweat, the lunch date with Tracy. The water was hot. It cleansed our bodies of yesterday's grease.
After we had dressed and I had poured both of us coffee, we stood on the patio and watched little feathers of steam curl into the air and disappear. Matthew was wearing his work jeans and a very flattering polo. He reached into the front pocket and took out a pack of Camel Lights. He opened the box, took out a cigarette, and gently placed it between my lips. They were in the middle of making words, but that doesn't matter.
I leaned forward and he struck a match with a dominance that made me shiver. It was control I saw - that ability to make fire and put it somewhere. It was self-assurance. It was making something work.
I lit the cigarette with my inhalation, and the nicotine swam through my veins. Sweet, sweet substance. I took another drag, and passed it to him with my eyes closed. His finger brushed mine as he swept in, silently, and reclaimed the cigarette. When he inhaled, I felt a piece of me sucked in with the smoke, into his lungs, through his body.
By the time Matthew gave it back to me, about a third had been consumed.
"I love smoking with you in the morning," I said. He smiled at me, sadly, almost.
I inhaled my second drag and passed the cigarette over to him again. Even though it was only half-smoked, I knew it was gone. I knew before I passed him the cigarette. Before he even had a chance to breathe in and say, "I don't know what time I'll be home tonight. The boss has got me running all these errands for him, things I didn't use to do. Anyway, I'll probably get off a little late." He took a second drag. "Oh, shoot! I almost forgot. I have a few friends coming in from out of town that I really ought to see."
He hurriedly handed me what was left of the cigarette. "So I'll probably hit up a bar or something with them before coming home, too." I filled my lungs with smoke in silence. "So maybe a late dinner tonight?"
I looked at the cigarette and wondered if it was worth milking for another drag. I put it up to my lips, changed my mind, and flicked the butt onto the ground. The sweet tobacco smell still lounged in the air.
Matthew glanced at his watch. "Oh, man. I gotta run." He kissed my lips. He placed down the coffee mug, hoisted his laptop case across his shoulder and walked through the door.
"I wish these damn cigarettes lasted long---"
The door shut behind him before I could finish my sentence.