Motherhood

It's your typical sob story. Husband runs off and leaves you with the baby. No note, no explanation, no nothing. Just gone. After 9 years of marriage. All that 'through the good times and the bad times' bullshit? Well, that's what it is. Bullshit.
I mean, what would you do if you woke up one morning as an exact replica of your golden retriever? Would you get up and take a shower? Would you make breakfast for your husband? Check on the baby?
No. You wouldn't. Let me assure you - you wouldn't. Instead, you would scrunch your body up, making it as tiny as possible, and you would wait - yes, wait - until something saved you. Unfortunately, my husband (Brad. His name is Brad) saw my furry body before I had changed, and, well, he took off. Just kind of bolted. Didn't say anything to me.
I wonder now what he was thinking then. I mean, I've had a lot of time to think about it. I used to get sad about it, feeling like I screwed everything up... but now I don't. I just get kind of angry, instead. He didn't really try to work this thing out with me at all. Besides, I think he was cheating on me.
It took me a while to figure out why I kept on turning into different things. The day after I turned into a golden retriever, I can't even tell you what it was I turned into - I had no limbs to carry me to a mirror. (Even if I did, I wouldn't have been able to see anything for lack of eyeballs.)
One morning I woke up from a very vivid pirate dream. A viscious, hairy man had taken me captive, and as soon as I was to walk off the plank, my body jolted me awake. Unsettled, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I understood what was happening to me the second I looked in the mirror. I was that savage pirate.
It's weird sometimes, though, because I'll wake up and have no recollection of what I dreamt of. And, when I figure out what form I've taken, I can usually remember snippets of what I had been doing in dreamland.
During the first few days of this transformation, when I didn't understand what was happening, I remember being really, really scared. How does a dog warm milk for a bottle? How does an inanimate object change diapers? As soon as I dreamt about that pirate, I immediately put my human powers to use. Arranged a full-time babysitter is what I did. She's a nice gal. Goes by Tracy.
Because I keep my normal state of mind when I'm in other sorts of forms, I can get a lot of thinking done. Right now I'm focusing on thinking about humans before going to bed, so I might wake up able to play with my little girl the way a momma should.
I've also been thinking about how to make money. Sure, I've got a little handicap now, but that's not so bad. They have laws out there now, against discrimination. I can sue if I have to.
One idea I've got is to have people come in and see what I've turned into, and to bet on it. I would take something like 5% of the winnings. I might even be nice and provide alcohol.
So, it's not necessarily a bad thing that's happened. I mean, for me it' s okay. I get through things. I've dealt with a lot of weird shit in my life. (Hell, this might not even be the weirdest.) What I'm really anxious about, though, is my daughter. It's one thing to grow up with your mom as a lesbian or something, but this is totally different.
What if she thinks Tracy's her momma?