Selling Time

Shabeg Singh Sekhon
Selling Time
Ralphy Leuven licked his ice cream cone as he walked leisurely down the street downtown. In between licks he would look up at the store signs on the left and right of him and would be amazed by the different colors and pictures. As he was walking though he noticed a little alley in between two buildings, and being the little explorer that he was walked down that alley until he noticed a little store breaking off a bit from the wall.
When he reached the front door he lifted his hand to grab the knob, but before he could get a hold of it the knob twisted violently and the door cracked open enough so that the most delicate touch could push it open entirely. Placing his palm on the door Ralphy pressed the door open and looked inside. The place had the feel of a library or a museum yet it retained a homey touch. There were shelves of books and jars full of creatures going as far as his little eyes could see, he looked up at the walls and there were paintings of things he did not understand. As he stepped further in this place he closed the door behind him and walked up to what appeared to be a counter. He looked forward for a moment until suddenly a clamor erupted underneath the counter in front of him and he looked again to see a crack had been made in the wood.
“Awww, DAMNIT!!” Cried a very croaky, deep voice. Ralphy, terrified over what just happened trembled as he paced forward again inch by inch. When he got to the counter again he looked down only to find a tiny man standing behind it. This man must have been no taller than three and a half feet; his arms were long and reached all the way to the top of his ankles and his feet were as big as a clown’s. His face was sharp and his eyes were keen and piercing. He had a long beard that went to the middle of his chest yet, oddly enough, the left side of it was completely black with no sign of age while his right side was rigidly white and graying. Rubbing the top of his head while stomping the ground back and forth with his gigantic feet the man looked up for a moment and realized he wasn’t alone. After he and Ralphy stared at each other without saying a word for close near thirty seconds the man decided to speak up.
“So, well uh, how’s your ice cream?”
“Tasty, wanna try some?” Replied little Ralphy.
“Sure, what flavor is it?” said the tiny man.
“Rocky Road.” Said the boy. After the man sampled a taste from Ralphy’s cone the two became cordial. They learned each other’s names and talked about ice cream toppings until Ralphy inquired about the man’s store.
“Hey, Fuzzlestuffin, what do you sell here?” Fuzzlestuffin or Professor Fuzz as he liked to be called cracked a half-smile when he heard the question.
“Well, you see my dear boy, I sell knowledge in the form that can only be dreamed of. In this store it does not matter if you have a million smackaroos or a few dirty pennies, just so long as you have years you’re willing to give.”
“Years?” said Ralphy as he twisted his face in confusion.
“Yes my child years, for instance, let’s say that you wanted to know everything there is to no about chemistry, physics, or even literature. That would take some time would it not?
“I guess so,” replied the confused boy.
“So let’s say then that it will take you five years to know everything about chemistry, and another four for physics, and another five for literature, if you were to sell to me those years of yours then I would be willing to give you those skills and knowledge.”
“How do you do that?” questioned the boy.
“It’s quite simple really, you just tell me what you want to know, then I tell you how many years it will take, then you’re probably going to try to break my balls over the amount of time and I’m not going to budge because I have to be the shrewd businessman and then you’re not going to want in on the deal and I’m going to end up wussing out and conform to your sales pitch because I am not a good businessman… wait, hold on, what were we talking about? Oh that’s right! So I give you a book and you just hold on to it as you sleep and woila!! You have just mastered something without so much as reading a single word.” Ralphy took a moment to absorb all of it.
“So, if I wanted to learn art, painting, and comic books you could give that to me?”
“Well, yeah, everything except for the comic books because that just doesn’t make any fucking sense,” replied Professor Fuzz.
“Well in that case, I want to learn about the paintings on the walls, I want to know who those statues of men are.”
“So that’s art, philosophy, and history, coming right up chief.” The man dashed about the store with the speed of light writing in books and looking through others, Ralphy could only see a blur as Professor Fuzz whirled about preparing all of his supplies. When Professor Fuzz was finished he finally appeared behind the counter again with three books in his hands.
“So I got Art, some fine looking pieces in this one. I got philosophy from all over the world and history from every place that keeps it going. To learn all of this stuff kid will take nine years, how old are you now?”
“Ten,” said the boy.
“Oh, shit. You got plenty of time. Enjoy this stuff kid, and remember, when you go to sleep tonight make sure you hold all three books.”
That night Ralphy raced home so that he could do what the professor said. He made sure he washed up nice, brushed his teeth and when he pulled the blankets over him he hugged all three books.
From that point onward, after nine years had passed, Ralph continued to frequent that store. Over the next fifty years he would learn chemistry, physics, literature, aerodynamics, political science, sculpture etc. everything he could get his hands on he did. By the time he was seventy-two years old, Sir Dr. Ralph Leuven won the Nobel peace prize four times, won six Pulitzer Prize awards, was responsible for numerous political policies and made incredible sums of money. But something was never right with him.
One day, as Dr. Leuven was walking down the street in downtown he decided to go visit Professor Fuzzlestuffin. He went back to the alley, opened the door with the palm of his hand and met the tiny man at the counter.
“We..Hehe..ell, Dr Leuven sir, how are we this fine morning?”
“I’m fine Fuzzle, I’m fine.”
“So what’s it going to be this time chief, some printmaking, pottery, welding?”
“No Fuzz, I don’t think I have any more years to give you,” replied the old man. “In fact, actually, I was hoping you could do me a favor Fuzz.”
“Well what’s wrong chief?” At that moment, Ralph picked his cane up and sat down in the chair in front of the counter, his old sagging face drooped down and his grayed out eyes watered as he looked into Fuzzlestuffin’s face.
“I don’t know why I did all of this Fuzz, I don’t know why.” Tears began to flow down the side of his old wrinkled face. “You see, during all that time I spent gaining that knowledge I never once lived. I have never been to a high school dance, I’ve never been to a park or a garden. When I see colorful flowers all I can think about are what kind they are or from what family they are from. In my efforts to gain everything I realized that I haven’t gained anything. I have never loved, I have never been loved, I don’t have friends, and I don’t even know the feeling. I guess in my efforts to gain everything, I have lost what I truly wanted. I have lost what it means to be human”
“Well, uhhhhhh, so what book do you want today?”
“I don’t want a book Fuzz, I want my years back, and I want my life back.” Fuzzlestuffin paused for a moment, the smirk he had on his face turned into an intense grimace and he looked into Ralph’s eyes when he spoke.
“I never forced you to do this, Ralph. You chose this life, not me. You know I can’t give you your year’s back, besides, what am I a fucking genie. This is the life you lead Ralph the life you chose. There is no going back.” Ralph wiped away his tears and regained his composure. He sat straight in his chair and said,
“Eh, what the hell, give me the printmaking and the welding. And throw death in there while you’re at it.”