Intentions

Intentions
God, what time is it already? 6:30, humph, what time is that smug little bastard supposed to get here anyway? I can only picture it now; he gets here, puts on a front like he’s nervous about everything, puts on the corsage with some nervous little smile like he doesn’t know what he’s doing but he knows, oh but he knows.
The doorbell rings at 7:15; I open the door and get a real good look at this kid. His hair is all over the place like one of those damned Goth kids and I could swear he’s wearing eye liner. His tux looks like he got it from some two-bit tuxedo den two weeks ago and it looks like the discount one he probably got half-off because it had some kind of a defect. I swear to God if he gives my girl rabies with this thing I will rip his head off and shit down his neck. I welcome him inside and tell him the usual jazz that Amber isn’t ready yet and that he should come in the living room so we can chat. My wife hurries down the stairs and gives this little bastard a hug like he’s some long lost nephew she hasn’t seen in ages and offers him some soda while he waits. He sits down on the couch and cups his soda with two hands and starts staring at the coffee table. I’m over on his right side on the lazy boy with the TV remote and the chair completely reclined. I turn the TV on and put it on CNN to see what’s happening in the world. After about five minutes the old lady runs down again to grab some fabric and scissors and on her way back upstairs she yells at me silently forcing me to interact with this thing.
I begrudgingly adhered to her as always and asked the kid what he thought about each headline news story that popped up. He just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn’t really know or that he wasn’t too sure what was going on and so on. After this attempted talk I realized that not only was my Amber going to prom with a Marilyn Manson stunt double, but that she was going to prom with a complete idiot as well.
After what seemed to be an eternity Amber finally made the call that she was coming down. My wife walked down first with tears already puffing up her eyes and had me hold her. The little shit-for-brains stood by the entrance to the door with every intention on getting the hell out of here. Amber walked down the stairs like a princess about to go to a royal golden jubilee. Her hair was curled and her dress made the whole house light up. A single tear went down my cheek as I realized my little darling was finally a woman, and then it all dried up again when I caught a glimpse of the dumb-ass McGivney who was taking her. The two of them had their awkward greeting and I think that if it weren’t for my eyeballs of death looking into this kid’s soul he would have attempted to give Amber a hug. He put the corsage on and we did the usual stuff and took pictures. My wife cried and whispered sweet little pieces of advice to Amber while Amber made a face of utter embarrassment. The kid opened the door for Amber and shook my hand as they walked out the door. And as they were walking to his beat up Honda I couldn’t help but keep watching them until they got into the car. I know what his intentions are with my daughter. I mean for crying out loud, my wife’s dad saw me grab her ass on the way to my car to go to our senior prom.