Midnight Snack

Midnight Snack

David Rommel’s eyes stared at the clock as it struck midnight, his ears twitched after he heard every clang and bang from the kitchenware hitting the roof and floor. Someone was in his home, and someone didn’t care about the noise they were making. David rolled on his other side and looked at his wife, Roberta. Her mouth was open and drool was caked on the whole right side of her face. David was astonished at how she could still sleep with this racket. Worried and definitely a little frightened, David rose from his bed, grabbed one of the long show pillows and made his way to the kitchen. As he inched nearer and nearer, the thuds and scrapes of metal got louder. As he got closer he could here grunts and loud exhales from the nose. When he finally turned the corner of the hallway he raised the pillow as if he was ready to do battle, but when he saw who it was that was raiding his fridge he went rigid with fear.
“Now where the hell am I going to find some aunt jemima’s syrup,” said the beast as he put his head into the shelves of the fridge. David tried to scream, but nothing came out. Thousands of thoughts were roaring through his lead like a tornado. How is this possible? What the hell is going on? Am I Dreaming? Is it real? All of these questions swirled about him but the one true question he was able to get through was this. Why in the hell is there a Cyclops in my house and why the fuck is he looking for Aunt Jemima pancake syrup?
“It’s in the pantry,” David whispered. At that moment the Cyclops crashed its head on the top of the fridge and turned around speedily to look at David. The two stood in silence for a moment. David could feel his bowels weaken; he lost control and was praying he wouldn’t crap himself. The Cyclops had the look of an awkward burglar, his eyes were wide open and his lips were pursed together as if he were trying to conceal something.
“The syrup is in the pantry,” David said again.
“Oh, uh, okay,’ replied the Cyclops. He looked around the kitchen as if he knew where the pantry was but he quickly stopped before he made more of an ass out of himself.
“The pantry is to the right of you, right there, here I’ll get it,” David said this and made a very quick move to the pantry door. He opened the door quickly and grabbed the syrup as if he were being timed by the Cyclops. He thought that if he didn’t do it within thirty seconds the Cyclops would grab him and rip him into two.
“Here you go, we have some Aunt Jemima original, here also we have the reduced fat Aunt Jemima, and here is some Mrs. Butterworths.”
“Oh, well um, thank you,” said the Cyclops as he took the bottles from David. His hand was the size of a Pizza tray so he was able to enclose all of the syrup bottles in the palm of one of them. After another awkward pause David knew he shouldn’t ask what he was about to ask, but he did it anyway.
“Would you like me to make you some pancakes?”
“Well I don’t want to impose…but yeah sure if you’re offering.” The Cyclops quickly took a seat on the ground and pulled the kitchen table closer against his sternum. David grabbed the pancake batter and made fifty pancakes that night. While the Cyclops was eating he told David stories of his brothers Brontes, Steropes, and Arges. He even told David how his cousin Polyphemus really lost his eye. They laughed together, cried a little bit and became friends that night. While they were talking David and the Cyclops looked outside and realized that day was breaking. The Cyclops said he had to go and thanked David for the pancakes. He even gave David some jewelry he said was worn by the ancient queens of Greece. After the Cyclops picked David up and hugged him goodbye he told him that he would knock next time and also that if David and his wife were ever in Greece, they should look him up.
After the Cyclops had gone David just sat down at his kitchen table. He sat there until Roberta walked in and nagged him about the mess in the kitchen. He told her he just came in to have a midnight snack, but she just looked at him like he was another crazy old man. They both cleaned the kitchen together and while they were cleaning, David went into his room to put the jewels he had gotten into a little gift box. He wrapped it nicely in whatever materials he could find, and when he walked back into the kitchen he grabbed Roberta and kissed her like they were still newly weds and said,
“Happy Forty-Seventh anniversary, sweetheart, I got something for you.”